Sex education for parents
Ready or not – here comes porn in to our children's lives, minds and souls.
Pornography is the first and main thing contemporary and effective sex education has to break down. It is not harmless, natural or naïve, as some of us wish to think. Quite the opposite. Nowadays hard core porn is hyper-violent, cruel and demining for both sexes, mainly to women. It is addictive and paralyzes young boys and girls ability to communicate and built intimate relationships and love.
Play a game with me! “Finding the differences”: first picture – fairy tales.
How does all the fairy tales end?
Happily ever after, right? They kiss, which implies sexuality, but in the context of love, caring, significant others.
Second picture: porn flicks.
What is the so called happy ending of porn videos?
A man or a group of men ejaculate sperm on a woman’s face.
They are on their feet – she is on her knees.
They call her a ‘ho’, ‘bitch’, ‘slut’, ‘cum dumpster’ and so forth – she is obliged by contract to say she loves it.
They give orders – she obeys.
They don’t touch her in a passionate way, no affections, NO DIALOGUE, no room for her pleasure, respect or agency. She is merely their sexual disposable object or slave, nothing more. Not a human being for sure.
Our kids get exposed to these materials since age 9-10.
They have been watching these violent images of dehumanization and sexual violence towards women on regular basis every week.
93% of them.
Yes, they have been feeling both aroused and ashamed about it.
Yes, they have been hiding it from us, just like we didn’t speak to our parents.
Yes, unfortunately they perceive it as normal sex education.
No, they didn’t get any alternative real, positive, eye level talk about healthy sexuality, intimacy, communication and love between human beings.
No, we can’t lie to ourselves any more that they we learn it “somehow” – unless we step up and speak life to them.
1 important guideline – No age is too early to start speaking about these issues. No age.
Sometimes we need to use cynical understandings for a good cause.
Think like advertisement people. They do everything they can in order to get children hooked on the brands they work for. It is well proven empirically that if you succeed to make a child love a specific brand (shoe, snack, beverage etc.) at the age of 9, you have a client loyal for life!
Just the same here. When you get children watching porn at age 9,10,12, and in an un-confronted manner – you promise they will emulate it as they grow into adolescents and adults.
We don’t have an option to be silent on porn no more.
There should be no judgment of our child – only judgment of the porn industry and what they show.
It is a thin line, and our child must feel that we bring no sinfulness onto his/hers natural curiosity.
Ready or not – here comes porn in to our children’s lives, minds and souls.
Ready or not – we have been summoned by the raunchy culture and digital age to start talking about those uncomfortable issues with our kids.